Simply Complicated

I’m not big on changes.

I was the little girl that cried when we sold our childhood van and begged my parents to get it back. I’m the person in my family that makes sure every single holiday remains the same, all the way down to seating arrangements. When I graduated from high school, I cried for a week straight. The idea of moving to a new city and changing my entire life is, needless to say, not really my cup of tea.

When I moved to San Diego six years ago, I was a bundle of emotions. Terrified, excited, exhilarated. Mostly just terrified. I was so scared of leaving everyone behind and starting my life all over again. There were times that I felt completely alone, stranded in a city without my lifelines of family in Sacramento and without the feelings that home gave me.

Then, a funny thing happened. San Diego became home. I created a life there that I never imagined. I made my own kind of family. I knew backroads and local secrets. I grew up. I went through some of the hardest times of my life, and some of the best. I graduated college. I got my heart broken. I found people willing to put it back together. I developed an incredibly amazing support system. I found people that would take me to the hospital at 4 a.m., help me move furniture despite being hungover, and make me smile after a long day. Most importantly, I found people that made me feel loved. Wanted. Happy. I was home.

And now, 6 years later, here I am again. Moving.

If I’ve learned anything from the last few years of my life it’s that change is going to happen. Trying to keep things just as they are doesn’t stop change from happening. And the thing is if you let it happen, if you learn to embrace changes, sometimes it brings good things along with it. Moving to San Diego and changing my life with an 8 hour drive south might have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope that this new move ends in the same manner.

Thank you to San Diego for making me grow up. Thank you to the best friends that were with me the last 6 years. Thank you to all of you for making me a better person, for pushing me, for making me want.

I don’t know that I would have had the guts to do this without you. And now, I’m not as scared of what this new move has to offer. I’m excited and exhilarated, only just a tiny bit terrified.

Los Angeles, you have a lot to live up to. And I can’t wait until the day that I can call you home.